went home to omaha recently and, through a series of delusions of financial security, upgraded both ways to first class. it was a delightful little indulgance and, i reasoned, i'm totally worth it.
i don't like flying. it's not that i'm afraid of the flying. it's that i don't like people. masses of humanity make me feel uncomfortable and aloof in ways that i don't usually.
also, i figured it'd help with the lines and the waiting. it did. it also made up for the fact that you cannot get a direct flight to omaha from here. it was nice.
i flew out on the day of the flaming car thing in scottland so...the security line was painful, even for us priveledged first class passengers.
i was relieved on the way home that my little hometown airport still had little hometown security lines...maybe 20 people deep at most.
i went through the whole usual thing: laptop out, no change, shoes removed.
you know that thing that happens when you walk through the metal detector? the guy kind of holds out his hand, saying 'not yet'...then waves you through?
i'll blame my first class giddiness, but there was something about standing before that archway...waiting for the go-ahead...
i just. i um, i don't know...i guess i (totally non-chalantly), um....lept (?) through the detector? pranced? bounced?
i didn't even realize i'd done it till the grim faced TSA guy stopped me and said, "go back".
"what?"
"go back"
i didn't hear the thing go off, but i'm an obedient and goodly citizen.
"just walk through normal"
oh.
"so, no leaping?"
"no, you can't dance through"
okay.
i just hope there are no baddies reading this neglected blog...they might find out the secret secret to messing up the magnetism of the magnetizer.
leaping is not allowed. and it is especially not funny.
