(not) not my dissertation

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

Cup of Bambition  

When I was a kid, I used to soak up adult conversation like a sponge. However, when I tried it myself, it rarely went well.

Like the time when I decided that, since I'd heard the word "hell" on those church shows on television, it was fair game for dinner conversation. A seven year old saying that the bees around the soccer goal "scared the hell out of me" during the game was not, apparently, okay with my folks.

Another time, I tried to join my aunt's conversation about my grandmother's health by saying, "yeah, her very-close-veins bother her too, don't they?". I'd heard them talking about it all weekend. I mean, really, until you see "varicose veins" spelled out...how are you to know? They seemed "very-close" to each other to me...

But my own personal favorite goes back further. I have a vague memory of a lot of adults laughing and pointing every time the story was told. I also remember my Donny & Marie Osmond obsession, which lead to my slip.

For a 4 year old, I had all kinds of singing talent. Mostly due to my Donny & Marie Magic Microphone.

I also had the flu...
and, obviously, only a passing knowledge of the word "diarrhea".

And well, as the story goes, my mother remembers hearing me screaming from the bathroom:

"Mommy! Mommy! I've got Donnyandmaria!"

Retrospectively, it makes a lot of sense.

(somewhat related but really not: there was a time when i tried to convince my brother that, in the song "9 to 5", Dolly Parton poured herself "a cup of bambition". Instead of ambition. "you know, it's like coffee...bambition". yeah. he didn't buy it, either.)

posted by J at 6:43 PM


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