(not) not my dissertation

Thursday, February 20, 2003





my committee chair gave me the scariest email yet yesterday. in it, she used phrases like "this paper is not ready to see the light of day" and "i'm not sure it will be ready by the time you want to defend". Nice, huh? It's actually not as bad as she made it out to be. I talked to her last night and all she really meant was you need to completely reorganize the paper...not you suck and this is shit and start over. so...it's bad, but not as dire as i thought it was yesterday at lunchtime. it WILL involve me pushing back the defense by one week and working my tush off non-stop till then...which i planned on doing anyway.

THEN, my beautiful beautiful engagement ring....you know, the symbolic unending circle of eternal love... well, i don't know what i was doing, but it broke. the circle is broken....completely severed. Still strong and not falling apart, but STILL. its not like i'm a professional finger wrestler or have been using it to dig ditches. this is also not so bad because the boy said he'd go to the jeweler and get it fixed tomorrow. i hope he's snooty to them. i hope it wasn't my fault.

THEN THEN THEN...tonight, after an hour long commute and a stop off to Office Max to buy a cheap fax machine because my committee chair can't edit on the computer and its not cool to use government work fax machines to receive 70+ page faxes....i came home and listened to the answering machine. there is a message from THE CITY MUSEUM, the venue for our wedding and reception, the ONLY thing we had planned so far, the place we've been daydreaming about since last July. It's from a woman who i've not dealt with yet, but whose name i recognize as my 'new point of contact' according to the last email from the lady i've been dealing with. It's a long rambling unorganized stuttering message. she said something like 'i'm calling to see if you are still interested in the October 25th date for the museum. we...um...are going to start opening the museum up to the public on Saturday nights so you can't have that space, but you can have the shitty uninteresting room upstairs for the same price AND good news, we've opened the catering up to SIX recommended really fucking expensive catering companies, rather than the THREE we had before. yeaaaaay!".

Okay. Okay. Okay.

WTF!!!??? am i "STILL" interested in the museum??!?!!? also, the lady i had been working with said, although they like their recommended caterers, i could bring in whoever i wanted.

I sent them my check for $2000 (a huge splurge that we allowed ourselves because it was the most important thing) and the signed contract a good while ago. I saved a copy for myself. I got an email saying both were received. I've copies of all the email exchanges I've had with the other lady. I was waiting for them to send me a copy of the contract with THEIR signature as well. They've not cashed my check (something i just realized early this week). I'm fucked, aren't I?

seriously fucked.

posted by J at 7:08 PM


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